Night
by Clair Lawson
Summary: Alice is running from the hurt that haunts her past. She is saved by a newsie. Her new friends help her search for her runaway brother. But will this search bring her something more?
1. Escape

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Newsies. I do own any people you don't recognize.**

**Author's Note: I've been editing this story like crazy. If anyone has any suggestions, I would really love to hear them. :) I hope you like the story. Please review! Thanks! **

Chapter 1

I couldn't make out any words. Only distant angry sounds. My dad screamed at my mum. I heard her cry out in pain over and over. He was drunk and I tensed up. When he was done with her he would come for me. I looked over at a picture of my brother and I bit my lip. If only he were here. I know that he would help us. But he ran away two years ago. He promised he'd be back. His big brown eyes stared at me from his picture and I shivered as I remembered the last things he'd said to me.

"Don't you worry Alice," He said, "I'll be back for you first thing in the morning." Then he ran his hand through my long, curly black hair. I nodded, never doubting. I was doubting now. I heard my father's footsteps get louder and louder. My stomach twisted in knots. I felt my bruises from this morning. It was too soon. I looked toward the window. Only glass between me and my freedom. I walked to it and touched the latch before my father swung the door wide open. I quickly jumped away from the window. He saw me and he walked toward me with a scowl on his face.

"Not planning on going anywhere are you, Alice?" I shook my head. I knew better than to even say a word. He continued, "Of course not. You wouldn't want to leave your family like your good for nothing brother." I shook my head again. Suddenly he swung his arm and almost hit my head. "I don't believe you," He yelled, "I think you _were_ planning on leaving." I shook my head with more speed. But I knew there was no escape. He yelled and hit me with the glass bottle in his hand, something I'd experienced before, but this time it shattered on my skin. I screamed as the glass dug into my arm. My father yelled again and scraped my arm with the shards. I endured this silently and when he left I fell onto the floor and cried until the tears wouldn't come anymore. I sat silently for two hours, watching the blood running down my arm. I could hear my mother crying in the other room.

_What kind of a life is this to live? _I thought_. Always in fear of dying? Afraid of making the move that could end our lives. Never having the chance at a happy moment. Never really living at all._

That's when I decided that he wasn't ever going to hurt me again. I stood up and walked to the window, ignoring my pain. Once again I felt the latch but this time I flung the window open and slowly climbed down the ladder. Then I ran and ran and ran. I felt like nothing could stop me. But the pain in my arm grew to be unbearable. I looked behind my shoulder and slowed down.

My breath was coming in gasps and I leaned against a building. Then I sat down. What had I done? Now mum was all alone. Without me, she was dead for sure. I thought about going back. Then it hit me. I didn't have a clue as to where I was. James must have felt the same way. It's the only reason he wouldn't come back for me. He got lost, and now, I was lost too. My eyes filled with tears. Then I felt a rough hand on my shoulder. I screamed. He's found me, I thought, but instead of my father's cold blue eyes, I found myself staring into a warm pair of brown ones. A boy helped me stand up slowly. He was a head taller than me. He was carrying a stack of newspapers in his hand and a confident smile on his face.

"Are you all right miss?" He asked me. I nodded blankly. He saw the gashes on my arm. I covered them with my hand. "You don't look all right." He said. I gave him a smile, hoping to convince him.

"I'm fine." I said. The boy shook his head.

"You need help." he said. I shook my head again.

"No, I'm fine." I said, "I'll be alright." Then the boy picked me up, cradling me in his arms. I tried to break away but he was too strong. I began to panic. Who is this boy? Where is he taking me? He must know my father. He's taking me home. No! I won't go back. I struggled against him, but the boy held on. Then another wave of pain shot through my arm and I passed out.

I woke up to hushed voices and a mattress. I opened my eyes and gasped. Sitting around me were nine or ten boys, all wearing shirts and faces. I recognized one of them as the boy who found me. He smiled when I looked at him. Then one of the boys shouted excitedly.

"She's awake!" A man walked into the room. When he saw the boys he shook his head.

"Out with you!" He shouted, smiling. Everyone filed out of the room except for my rescuer. The doctor sighed. "You too Mush." The boy named Mush looked into my eyes and walked slowly out of the room, not looking away from me until the door closed in front of him. The man sat on the bed beside me and smiled.

"My name is Nathaniel Crane," he said, "I'm a doctor. The boys sent for me. They said you're hurt." I nodded. "What is your name?" he asked. I reluctantly answered.

"Alice."

"Well, Alice, how did you get all of these nasty cuts?" I thought about lying to him but his eyes were so kind. He looked like he really wanted to help me.

"My father." I said. "He broke a bottle and rubbed the glass into my arm." Dr. Crane gasped quietly. I felt bad. Maybe I should have lied. Then he grabbed something out of his bag.

"I'm going to see how much glass I can get out of your arm. I need you to drink this," He said as he handed me a bottle, "It will help numb the pain." I nodded and drank the bottle. I felt drowsy and fell asleep only two minutes later.


	2. Refuge

**Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. Not one part of it**.

Chapter 2

When I woke up again it was dark outside. A candle was burning on my bedside table. I sat up slowly and looked at my right arm. It was covered in a thick white bandage. I let out a sigh of relief. A dull steady pain remained but it was bearable. I heard something shuffle by my door and saw Mush sitting in a chair, covered with only a thin blanket. I slid out of my bed and stood up slowly. I walked to Mush and touched his shoulder. He sat up quickly. When he saw me standing he shot up like an arrow.

"What're you doin' up?" He asked me. I sighed.

"I want some answers." I said. He took my arm and lead me back to my bed.

"Sure thing kid as long as you don't get up again. Doc says you shouldn't be up for a while. You were beat up pretty bad." I nodded and sat down at the foot of the bed. Mush sat next to me. I took in a deep breath and started to talk.

"Question number 1." I said. "Where am I?" Mush smiled.

"That's an easy one. You'se at the newsie's lodgin' house."

"What's a newsie?"

"What's a newsie! You'se got to be kiddin me. You don't know what a newsie is?" I shook my head. Mush sighed. "A newsie is a person who sells papes."

"Oh," I said, "You're a newsboy?"

"No, I'm a newsie."

"They mean the same thing."

"Not here they don't." He said, "What's the next question?" I pulled my legs up on the bed.

"Well, now that I know where I am. Why am I here?"

"You was hurt." He said, "Kloppman, the man who runs this place, likes to help us kids out."

"What do you mean?"

"He likes to help the kids on the streets, the poor kids, the runaways and kids like you." I raised my head quickly.

"What do you mean, kids like me?" Mush looked embarrassed.

"I didn't mean nothin' by it. I just meant hurt kids, like you. You are hurt ain't cha?" I nodded.

"This Mr. Kloppman sounds like a decent fellow." I said. "What can I do to repay the kindness?" Mush's eyes brightened.

"You can be a newsie!" He nearly shouted.

"A newsboy?"

"We aint' just boys no more. We got a lot of girls now." Mush said.

"Well," I said, "If it's the only way..."

"You could go work at a factory." Mush said. I shook my head. I had heard too many horror stories about factories to work in one of them.

"I guess I could try being a newsboy, for a while." I said.

"No, no, no," Mush said, "It's newsie."

"Newsie"

"Right." Mush said, "You be stayin' in here for a while though, while you get better." I nodded. "An' I got a few questions of my own for you. Do you mind puttin' my mind at ease?" I shook my head.

"Ask away."

"Well, why do you talk strange?"

"I do not talk strange."

"Yes you do, you sound like one of them immigrants from England."

"I am not from England."

"Well how come you talk funny then?"

"My mum's from England, I guess I picked up the way she talks because I've been around it my whole life."

"What about your dad?"

"He's only home when he's drunk." My voice was bitter, "And when he's drunk he does awful things. He's the one who cut my arm. He did it with one of his whiskey bottles. I'm just scared of what he'll do to Mum now that I'm gone." I couldn't stop the tears that came to my eyes. I put my head on Mush's shoulder and he pulled me into a hug, just like my brother used to.

"Don't worry about that now, Alice." He said. "You'll be safe here. I promise."


	3. Stories

**Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies. :)**

Chapter 3

"Time to get up!" A harsh voice echoed through the room. It was met with groans and sighs. I listened as beds creaked and feet pounded on the floor. Voices ran through the whole house and I heard fights, jokes and songs. The noise was heavy and I tried to roll over to hide from it. I gasped sharply as I realized which arm was now pinned under my side. I rolled back over and sat up quickly. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. I was sure that at least one of the cuts had reopened. A girl with stick straight brown hair and glasses rushed to my side.

"Are you all right?" She asked. I nodded and she smiled, unconvinced. "I'll go get Dr. Crane." I shook my head.

"Please don't." I said. "I'll be fine. I promise." The girl bit her lip.

"At least let me get Mush." She said. I furrowed my eyebrows. How did she know that Mush was the one who found me? News seemed to travel fast here. I guess it was only fitting. I shrugged to the girl and she ran off to find Mush. As soon as I lost sight of her I looked down at the bandage and saw that it was stained red. My stomach turned and I leaned against the bedpost to wait for it to settle. A boy with a cigar in his mouth loped toward me. He had a tough determination to his jaw and a cocky grin plastered on his face. He took the cigar out of his mouth and held it near his vest pocket.

"You Alice?" He asked, waving the cigar in the air. I nodded. He smiled.

"I'm Racetrack." He said. "But most kids around here just call me Race." A boy with dark, unruly hair walked up behind Race and rolled his eyes in my direction.

"Hey, get a date on your own time Race." He said. "If we don't leave now, we're gonna be late for work." Race turned around quickly.

"Excuse me for trying to be friendly, Skittery." He said. "I was just introducing myself to our lovely new visitor."

"Just be careful you-know-who doesn't see you." Skittery said. "You how he gets." It was Racetrack's turn to roll his eyes. Skittery shrugged and walked away.

"Thanks for the warning Skitts but I can take care of myself just-" He was interrupted by Mush who had nearly knocked him over, he was running so fast. Mush knelt by the side of my bed. Half of his face was covered in shaving cream.

"Alice!" He said. "Kathryn told me to come. She said that you're bleeding again." I smiled, grateful for his devoted concern.

"I'm all right." I said softly. "I think a few of the cuts might have reopened but I'm sure I'll be okay." Mush grabbed my hurt arm and gently turned it toward him. When he saw how much blood there was he frowned.

"I'm gonna go get Dr. Crane." He said. I looked him in the eyes.

"Are you sure I need to see him again." I said. Mush nodded.

"You'se bleeding all over the bed." I looked down and was surprised to find a large blood stain on my sheet. Looking at it made me feel dizzy and I nodded.

"I guess you should go get him then." Mush smiled, squeezed my hand and left quickly. Racetrack was still leaning against the bed.

"What happened to your arm?" He asked. I shrugged. I wasn't sure that I could tell him. He seemed a little too rough. "Was it your fadduh?" He said after a few seconds of silence. I looked up at him sharply.

"Who told you?" I asked. Race put his hands up and stepped away from the bed.

"No one told me nothin'" He said. "I promise."

"Then how could you have known?" I asked suspiciously. He rolled up his left sleeve slowly, showing me five long scars. I put my hand to my mouth.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Me fadduh." He said. "He was an...angry man. I got these when I tried to protect me muddah and little bruddahs." I reached out to touch them. The grooves in his arm each told a sad story.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I'm really sorry." Race shrugged.

"Life goes on." He said. "It hurts to move on, but it has to happen. Maybe one day you can tell me the whole story. I'll always be here to talk to you." I smiled.

"Thanks, Racetrack." I said and I brushed my fingers over his scars one more time.

"I'll see ya later, Alice. I really gotta go to work now."

"See you later."

I watched Racetrack leave. After the door shut behind him, I realized that the room was empty. I sat alone in the silence for ten minutes thinking about what Racetrack had said. I never knew that there were others who knew how I felt. It was a relief. For the first time in two years, I didn't feel so alone anymore.


	4. Mush

**Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies.**

**Author's note: Any suggestions? I would love to hear them. Thank you so much to all those who have reviewed! They mean a lot. :)**

* * *

Chapter 4

"You should be fine after the next week or so." Dr. Crane said. "What you need now is rest. Give your wounds time to heal, and try not to sleep on that arm again." I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you so much for coming." I said.

"It's no trouble. If you need any help, you're always welcome to send for me." He said. Then he looked to Mush who was sitting next to him. "Take care of this young lady for me." Mush nodded eagerly. Dr. Crane smiled and picked up his bag before he headed for the door.

"I will." He said, smiling. I smiled back. I had never had a friend like Mush before. He was always eager to help me in any way he could. He seemed to enjoy assisting me. His voice and eyes were kind and soft. He was the most sincere person I had ever known. My heart ached as I was reminded of my brother. He had been the same way. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I brushed them away quickly. Mush grabbed both of my hands in his and looked at me concern written in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"How come I don' believe ya?"

"You just remind me of my brother. I miss him so much."

"You must think I'm a real scab. We don' even know nothin' bout each other and here I am holdin' your hand." I looked away realizing how true that was. And yet, I felt that I had known him my whole life.

"Well then," I said. "That just won't do. Why don't you tell me your story? And then, I'll tell you mine." Mush smiled and pulled his hands out of mine. Then he grabbed a chair from a nearby card table and pulled it next to my bed.

"Ya wanna know my story?" He asked. I nodded and crossed my legs on the bed. "I was born on the streets of Manhattan nearly seventeen years ago. I grew up with 2 brudduh's and 1 sistah. But one by one, I lost 'em all. One to the river. Her name was Emma. I've never told anyone this but it was my fault." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I was supposed to be watching her that day but I wouldn't let her sell papes wit me and my friends. I was ten and I thought was the king of the world. She tried to follow us around but we ran away. After about 30 minutes we managed to lose her. I thought she just ran home but I guess she really did get lost. Somehow she made her way to the Brooklyn Bridge. They found her body in the river that night. We never knew what happened to her. She was only seven. She couldn't even swim." I wiped tears from my eyes.

"Mush." I began. He stopped me. I saw tears running down his face.

"I lost both my bruddahs to the flu later that year. It took my muddah only a few months later."

"What about your father?"

"He left when I was four. I don' even remember him."

"Oh, Mush." I said wiping more tears from my eyes. He stopped me again.

"It's your turn."

"I don't know where to start."

"Where were ya born?"

"Brooklyn."

"Really?"

"Really."

"How old are ya?"

"16."

"What's your muddah like?"

I paused.

"She's," I said. "She's...I don't know. I don't really know her. She treats me like a stranger. I think it makes it easier for her to let my father hurt us."

"Us?" He asked.

"My brother and I."

"What happened to him?" He asked. I was glad he didn't ask about my father.

"He ran away." I said. "I haven't seen him in two years. He could be dead for all I know. I wish I could see him again. I miss him so much. He's the only reason I survived living where I did. He was my best and only friend." Mush grabbed my hand again and this time we didn't say anything. I thought about all the things I had learned about my new friends. The newsies seemed to be a band of broken people coming together to create something whole and new. They were a family of sorts and I knew that I wanted to be part of it.


	5. Racetrack

**Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. **

* * *

Chapter 5

I opened my eyes to another bright sunny day. It was still early and most of the beds were still full. The sunlight streamed through an open window on the right side of the room. I walked slowly on the wood floor, hoping that it wouldn't creak. When I reached the window I put my face out and felt a light breeze. The air was so inviting, so I climbed out onto the fire escape. I sat on the first step and stared at the busy street that crossed the alley. How often had I done this at my own house, watching the people go by, imagining what their lives must be like. Wondering when my own life would start. I wasn't allowed to go out much. My father was very...protective of his possessions. The only relief I had was the fire escape and the books that were left on the first step for me to read. I never knew who left them. They started showing up when I was eleven. One day after my father had left the house, I went out onto the fire escape and cried about my bruises. When I had finished, there was a leather-bound book on the first step. On top of it was a note that said, One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. There was no name to go with it so I picked the book up and sat down on the step. I opened to the first page and saw a picture of a beautiful princess. I turned page after page and for the first time I forgot all the pain that I felt. The book was my refuge. After that, I got a few books every week, each one with a new saying, usually about the power of words. I loved those books. They were my only secret.

A noise brought my thoughts back to reality. I looked up quickly to see a cocky grin staring at me.

"G'mornin' doll-face." Racetrack said. I rolled my eyes.

"Good morning Racetrack."

"What cha doin' up so early?"

"I just woke up, I guess." I said. "I thought I was going to go crazy if I stayed in that room for one more minute, so I came out here to think."

"How's your arm?"

"Much better, thanks for asking."

"Is it feelin' good enough to come to work with me today?" I smiled.

"You want me to come to work with you?" I asked. He nodded.

"I figured you'd be goin' crazy stayin' in all day. I thought I might show you around Manhattan." He said.

"I'd love to go with you." I said brightly, grateful for the chance to leave the lodging house. I had spend more than two days inside it. I hadn't met many people either. They all seemed wary of me and I didn't have anyone to talk to besides Mush and Racetrack. Kathryn tried to go out of her way to say a few words but she had her own friends. I wondered if I could ever fit in.

A curly head popped out of the window. It belonged to a boy who I had never seen before.

"I was wonderin' who you was talkin' to out here." The boy said. "I thought you was goin' crazy like Snitch."

"Nah, Crutchy." Race said. "I'se just talkin to Alice. She's comin' to work wit me today." Crutchy raised an eyebrow.

"You sure you should do that?" He asked. "I don think he'd like that."

"I couldn't care less what _he_ thinks."

"I hope you knows what you'se gettin yourself into." Crutchy said. Then he turned to me before pulling his head back inside. "It was nice meeting you, Alice."

"You too." I said.

"Don worry about him none." Race said. "He's not right in the head."

"Who's this _he_ Crutchy was talking about?" I asked. Race shrugged.

"No one important, don worry bout it. I was thinkin that we could get an early start today an I could show you the beauty of New York in the early mornin'" He said. I smiled.

"I would love that." I said. Race grinned and came out onto the fire escape. Then he walked to the stairs that led to the ground.

"After you." He said. I smiled, ready to have the best day of my life.


	6. Something New

**Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies.**

Chapter 6

We walked out of the alley into the square. Racetrack gave me a big smile.

"Welcome to Newsie square." He said proudly. I looked around at all the brick faces that surrounded us. They were inviting and warm. They all seemed to point to the statue in the center. It was a strong rust brown portrait of a large man sitting in a chair.

"Who is that?" I asked. Racetrack grinned.

"That's Horace Greeley. He was some type of newspaper tycoon. An early Pulitzer, if you will." I nodded and walked slowly toward it. Mounted on the bottom of it was a plaque. I knelt down squinted to see it. In big block letters it said: Go West Young Man. I looked at Race, confused.

"What does that mean?" I asked him. Race shrugged.

"How'm I supposed to know?" He asked loudly as he grasped his cigar tightly. He shoved his left hand in his pocket and I watched his face flush.

"Oh." I said softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything that would offend you." He shook his head.

"Let's go back." He said stiffly. "This was a bad idea." I reached up and grabbed his wrist.

"Why?" I asked quickly. "We've only just left. And I've been looking forward to getting out for such a long time." Racetrack sighed.

"I guess you'se right." He said and he relaxed a little bit.

"Of course I am." I said grinning. I looked at Racetrack and tried to veil my concern. Something was bothering him. Something about the plaque. His eyes looked hurt. I squeezed his arm once before I let go. Then I stood up. We started walking around the square. Race kept avoiding my eyes. His gait was stiff and disconcerting. "Are you okay?" I asked him. He didn't look up.

"We really should go back," He said roughly. I nodded slowly.

"If you say so." I said. Then we walked back through the alley and headed for the Lodging House. The walk was silent and long. I kept shooting glances at Racetrack but he wouldn't say anything. He looked out of place, like his thoughts were a million miles away from the dirty streets we walked. Side-by-side I got a good look at his face. He looked so tired. Like an old man who had seen too much grief. What had his life been like to make him the way he was now? This tough kid who lived off the streets and from his own hand. He seemed so defenseless and I tried to resist the urge to grab his hand and let him know that he was not alone. It got stronger as he slipped further into his own thoughts and before I knew it, I could feel his hand resting in mine. He stopped walking and finally looked at me. Then he gave me a little smile and we turned again, hand-in-hand, and began home.

**Author's note: Sorry this is so short. I really wanted to update it with a really really long chapter but it's AP Exam time and I don't have a time for any sort of life right now. Also, I'm getting writer's block. Any suggestions? {I promise that Blink will show up really soon! (:}**


	7. Understanding

**Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies.**

Chapter 7

It felt right to hold Racetrack's hand. I smiled the rest of the way home and I thought about how different my life had become in only a few short days. Somehow it fit. Even if I wasn't acting like myself. This new life had created a new person. Someone who listened to the lives of others and found peace with them. Someone who was cared for and treated like a real human being. But everything was happening so quickly. My life felt like a play. Like something I wasn't living at all. There was something boiling under the serene surface of this place. Something was stirring within the newsies. Something I wasn't a part of. Something secret and elusive. Something that was weighing on Racetrack. And suddenly I had never felt more alone. I closed my eyes and pretended that I was holding my brother's hand but the usual imaginings weren't working. I was still standing next to Race. With my eyes closed, I could smell him. He smelled like a fresh summer breeze with just a hint of cigar smoke. The effects were calming and I opened my eyes again. Racetrack looked over and smiled at me. And when he squeezed my hand, something happened. I felt my heart jump in my chest. What was this strange euphoria? I couldn't be sure but all of my previous thoughts of worry were swept away in it.

We reached the Lodging House all too soon. A few boys were rushing out of the front door. Most of them ran past us without a second glance. But one boy stopped on the stairs and glared at us. His hat was sitting precariously on his blond hair. He crossed his arms over his untucked shirt and loose suspenders. His one bright blue eye seemed to pierce my thoughts. His stare was focused on Racetrack and I watched Race squirm for a few seconds. Then he took in a long breath.

"Whadda ya want, Blink?" He asked the boy gruffly. Blink stared at our hands. I felt like I should pull away from Racetrack's grip but I stopped myself. I was not going to let this boy scare me.

"I think ya know what I want." He said. "But I don' think ya know what ya want. Ya know the deal. Why would ya break it? It's not worth it. You remember last time." I felt Racetrack shift his weight beside me. "I don' want people to get hurt like that again."

"I knows what happened last time, Blink." He said tersely. "Ya don' have to remind me 'bout nothin'. But dis is different." Blink shook his head.

"No it ain't." He said. "It's the same. Only this time, you'se one of the people who's gonna get hurt." Then Blink uncrossed his arms, walked down the stairs and tipped his hat to Racetrack before he marched away. I looked at Racetrack.

"What was he talking about?" I said. Race shrugged.

"Nothin'." He said. "Don' worry 'bout it." I let go of his hand quickly and turned to face him.

"I think I have to worry about it." I said. "I don't understand what's going on here. What is the matter with all of you. Are you always this secretive? I thought I was free from a life of lies. But ever since I got here, my life has become so confusing. One moment, everything seems so clear and bright and the next I'm scrambling to collect the pieces of this mystery. Please, just tell me what's going on." Racetrack put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground.

"Even if I told ya." He started out sheepishly. "You wouldn't understand."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"It's just a matter of territory..." He trailed off but I began to understand. I clenched my fists.

"You mean to tell me that-"

"Don' worry 'bout it, Alice." Racetrack said before I could finish my sentence. "It's no big deal. I promise."

"I thought you understood." I said. "I was ready to trust you, ready to trust all of you but you never really saw me as any more than...than territory! I can't believe this!" Racetrack reached for my hand and shook his head.

"No, Alice." He said. "It's not like that. You don' understand."

"You're right. I don't understand." Then I turned away and ran into the house. Racetrack followed me. I started up the stairs but something in his voice made me stop.

"I do understand ya Alice. I know what you're going through. Ya can trust me. Please, Alice. Trust me." I shook my head.

"I don't know what to do right now." I said. I grabbed the railing tightly. I rushed the rest of the way up the stairs and wished for help from my brother. Nothing came so I stood at the top for a few minutes. Racetrack didn't follow me this time.


	8. James

**Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. **

Chapter Eight

**James**

I watched as Mush brought a girl into the Lodging House. Her face was bruised and her arms were running with blood. I gasped when I realized who he had found. It was my Alice. My baby sister. I wanted to rush to her side and tell her everything was going to be fine but something held me back. I was afraid that she wouldn't want to see me. After all, I had abandoned her. I had broken my promise. I wasn't there when she needed me the most. I had let my father come between us and now we had come back together and I didn't know what to say. I bit my lip so hard it almost started to bleed. I watched Mush closely as he carried Alice up the stairs quietly and gently. She would be safe. I kept my eye on the door after it closed behind them and held my breath. Should I go to her or should I stay away? Skittery waved his hand in front of my face.

"Snoddy!" He said. "Hey, Snoddy. Ya gonna play or what?" I looked down at the cards in my hands, I had forgotten about them. My thoughts came back to my game and I decided to worry about Alice later.

"Of course I am, Skitts." I said. "I was just thinking about something." Skittery shrugged.

"Kay then." He said. "Let's play." I played mindlessly. My thoughts kept flashing back to Alice. Her face, her arms. How could I have left her? I might have killed her. It wasn't fair to her or to me. I was the worst older brother ever. I laid down my cards and pulled my hat over my eyes.

"Woah, Snoddy." Jake said. "What's wrong?" I shook my head.

"Come on." Itey said. "We'se ya best friends. We can tell when you'se upset and right now, there's somethin' buggin' ya."

"So get it off ya chest." Racetrack said. "Ya know ya can trust us with anythin'." I laughed.

"If I had a secret, you would be the last person I would tell." I said. Racetrack mocked surprise and offense. I cut him off before he could protest. "But there is something that I should let all of you know." I took in a deep breath. "Did you see the girl that Mush just brought in?" I asked. A few boys nodded.

"Do ya know her or somethin'." Skittery asked.

"Sort of." I said. "She's my sister" The boys mumbled to themselves.

"Why aren't ya up there with her?" Racetrack asked loudly. "She was hurt pretty bad. Why aren't ya with her?" I looked down at the ground.

"Because I lied to her." I said. "And I'm sure she hates me now. It's not fair for her to have to see me again. I broke her heart. I broke my promise."

"What did you promise?"

"I promised I'd come back for her, that I'd take her away from our dad. He's probably the one who beat her up." Racetrack stood up quickly.

"You need to get up there." He said angrily. "I don' care how much you think you hurt her. She needs you. If you'se there fer her now, she'll forgive ya. I promise." I shook my head.

"No." I said. "I can't do it now. I can't see her hurt like this. Not while knowing that it's my fault she was hurt in the first place. I can't handle it." Racetrack shook his head and clenched his fists.

"I ain't believin' this." He said. "I ain't gonna believe that yer gonna leave here up there alone, scared, confused. This is yer chance to make everything up to her. I would kill for a chance like that. Ya don't know how lucky ya are. Ya obviously don' deserve it." I stood up too and I raised my fists to my face.

"Do you want to put your fists where your mouth is?" I asked. Everything Race had said made me furious. I knew he was right but that only made me angrier.

"No." Racetrack said. "I'se gonna go upstairs and wait for yer little sistah to wake up."

"If you say one word to her, I'll kill you. I swear it." I yelled.

"No you won't." He said simply and then he walked up the stairs.

"You know the rules." I called after him. Racetrack shrugged.

"When did I ever follow 'em?" He said. "Besides, I think the only person you'se got to worry about is Mush." Then he walked up the rest of the stairs quietly, leaving me to think about everything that had happened.

_Alice, _I thought as I watched Race close the door behind him, _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

__**Author's note: Sorry to switch POV on you guys like that. I just needed to make somethings a little clearer. Sorry. Please review! :)**


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